Over the past couple of days I’ve asked people what self-love means to them and not one person had the same response; that is because we all show ourselves love in a different way. Self-love is not only having your hair done, going to the spa or buying yourself a new outfit; it means to love yourself unconditionally through the failures, the f*ck ups, the break ups and accepting who you truly are. How many of us can actually say we do?
I found out the hard way; I literally had to hit ground bottom to realize that I had no self-love. I had devoted a lot of energy into the wrong places, not realizing that I was completely neglecting my own needs. Making promises to friends and partners that I was not able to keep, pretending to be what they wanted me to be. After awhile, this process became draining and overtime I lost sight of whom I was.
When I was finally on my own, that’s when it kicked in; I was forced to face reality and the harsh truth of what I’ve become. Reflecting on how I had gotten to this point, made me realize other things I had been doing in my life because of the lack of self-love. I found myself changing a lot when placed in situations with different people, trying to figure out how I can please everyone by becoming who they needed me to be.
Overall, I was trying to fill a void, the piece of me I was missing and searching for in others.
GUESS WHAT…. You’ll never find it!
Of course this is a major struggle now a days, look at the media! It is constant comparison with all these girls in magazines being photoshopped to look perfect. Our Gen Y's growing up in a world where natural isn't beautiful anymore, just use an app and have the perfect face or body.
To overcome these feelings i had to go through a healing process that took many days and nights of staying home alone and suffering, being forced to face myself, to see what I had become. To be honest, it was ugly and most nights I had to numb myself. I had to fight myself to break old habits and create new ones, what scared me most was getting out of my comfort zone and stepping up to the new me.
We all have this HUGE fear of doing things because we are scared to be judged by others, but do you not realize that WE are our own worse enemy! People are so caught up in their own shit, but we end up creating these stories about what they think of us, when in reality, they are so worried about what you think of them.
This lack of self-love is EVIL; it will sabotage your relationships, friendships, jobs and your L I F E!
Now I ask you to take a step back and B R E A T H E, because it will be fine.
Be selfish for a bit, do personal development and spend time alone to figure out who Y O U really are. Look in the mirror, but really look in the mirror and admire everything about yourself. Your flaws, your crooked smiles, your dimples, your red curly hair; this is what makes you, you. Then get out there and find things that make you excited, passions that make you jump out of bed in the morning and find purpose. Remember you can't love someone fully, if you don't love yourself first, two halves don't make a whole ( they cause a mess lol ). So be YOU, be PROUD and be BOLD, there is only one you out there, so take off the mask and stop hiding from it.